Either the bandolier or the blue mascot,
either the chevalier or the grey ascot.

Either the stock market’s in a panic
or The Chambermaid on the Titanic.

Either Laurel and Hardy in Way Out West
or pulling a crazy in your boss’s office.

Either stepping on the fire ant’s tiny volcano
or the man behind the curtain’s a no-show.

Either target practice in the shooting gallery
or the long, long-take bank robbery.

Either the buttercups and purple butterflies
or the hat brim and the scalloped bowtie.

Either curled up on the couch all afternoon
or the shelving collapses like the stroke of doom.

Either a fat man and a skinny man dancing tippy-toes
or down in the boonies where the postman doesn’t go.

Either Aha! you exclaim, Profound coincidence,
or a cappella Ellington in The Harmonists.

Either Annie Laurie slipping nylons over her thighs
or you’re chugging a Guinness, one of the guys.

Either Yojimbo gets his sword back
or Dr. Zhivago has a heart attack.

Either there goes Lara, love of your life,
or there goes Lara, love of your life.